Know that I am here
And I care about you

I know that you know
that I know
that you care

Even though
We may not be meeting each other
In this moment

Caring is happening
For both of us

Out here on the water
Paddling along
With my friends
Seals
Birds
Fishes

It’s our home
We share
Waves
Wind
Sunlight

No one owns any of this
People on the shore imagine they do

There is just one great space

Where we live
And love
Together

Who is here now with you?

Who is listening to the depth of your heart?
In this moment
As it is
Vulnerable and kind

I AM

Listening
Non-judgmentally
Accepting
Sharing
Caring

There is nothing to hide
It is all very clear

You
Want
LOVE

And
Are
LOVE

This is
LOVE

Yet you say..

“I can’t receive it from you”

Yet

Reading this
The heart warms
deep resonance echos
from within
Beyond the minds illusions

You say..

“or give it to you myself”

But I say to you
You are LOVE

Reflecting the
One heart
One LOVE

There is no deal
There is no getting
There is no past
There is no future

There is so much more
Yet so much less
Then the commerce of the ego
And it’s materialistic demands subside

I’m not for sale
And I’m not trying to buy you
This isn’t a transaction
It’s bigger and deeper than that

If you want to find someone else
To satisfy your needs, desires and personality demands
It doesn’t mean you have to stop Loving
Me or anyone else

Just breathe
Letting go of the relentness of personality
and dive into the deep expansive realm
Of not-knowing

This is the lesson that is painful
Giving up the painful story of isolation
Acknowledging
One Heart
One Love
Beyond the illusions
of the ego and mind

Here in this space
In stillness and silence
Where we meet in
LOVE

You wanted me to write you an email
You, the woman who I told the truth to
the one who I don’t know
who has nothing to lose
the one in the fairy tale
a traveler
a marvelous maiden
who seems to be good at asking questions
the ones I don’t really want to answer

the moon is up above us smiling down
telling us that what we need to do to grow and learn
It is already spilling out all over the world in shiny rays of white hope
filling our dreams with images and light
giving us energy to carry on
inspiring us to new dimensions

Is this what you wanted to hear?
how I am optimistic
about living a lying
lying in life
running from the obvious
seeking the sublime
pulling magic out of darkness
and hiding in the shadows of love

this is life and it is happening
whatever happens in it is beyond me
but I embrace all of it
avoiding some of it
ducking for cover
looking for a safe place
where things will start making sense
and the mistakes of the past
will gently fade away into a better future

This is an email that contains
No content
It is empty
Devoid of all meaning

It symbolizes nothing
And asks for
Nothing
In return for
Nothing
That is being offered
To no one

In fact
If you said
It never happened
It wouldn’t be far
From the
Truth

But yet
Something is
Happening
Between two people
Do you know what it is?
It is more quite than a
Whisper

But you can hear it
Inside
If you close your eyes
And go deep
In your heart
And feel that tender
Longing
To come home
To love

Its here
I know you feel it
Because
you know
There is only one heart
And we
Are it

Integrated
Aligned

Moving into the next chapter
Of this story of self

Balanced
Whole

Dancing together
Unified

As one
Masculine
Feminine
Energetic force

The one I’ve been waiting for
Is the one I have become

Not just a one sided character
In a story I didn’t conceive

Flat land cartoon personality
Corporate human machine
That was not who I really am

There is so much more inside
Peeling off the layers
Feeling new found aliveness
Underneath the shield that I no longer need
To protect something that needs no armor

Sensual intuitive spaciousness
Is luscious

Realizing
That I am a gift
And I will share my passion with the world!

Starting now

I am a being
On fire with divine presence

There is nothing that needs to be done
But so much that will happen

Simply being
This miraculous loving being

Know there is silence in the noise

Hear it

Know that time doesn’t really exist

Experience it

Know that I am thinking of you

Feel it

Know that there is only one heart

Longing to meet itself

Passion is a fire
It needs air to breathe

Winds of change
can make it burn hotter
or can blow it out

Holding you in my arms
A powerful gust sweeps us
high up into the sky

Floating on loves silver lined cloud
Ecstatically caressing each other
Flying around above globe
unaware of worldly troubles below

Questioning my need
to know the answers

Relaxing into what is truly happening

Drifting gracefully deeper

Letting the story of self
die in the mind

and yet…

I am still here

noticing..

that I am still alive

feeling better
for letting go

releasing the need
to hang on

To FEAR

I was going to send you a poem today
Because of the dance we shared last night
Because my body ached for you at the core

waking up in the early hours of the morning
unable to sleep without the gentle release
of personal self gratification

I had a poem ready to send earlier
but after I finished preparing it
I decided not to send it
and deleted the whole thing

why?

Because of ego

the monster of the depths that will ruin us
I figured I’d just be sending it to that place
that will simply devour and burp
leaving nothing
but a feeling of powerlessness inside

So I didn’t send the romantic tribute
to your womanhood and beauty

but I did write this
in it you can feel the connection
in the heart, body and aching soul

I am quite certain that
this is just a game to you
That I’m not the only player on your chess board

so instead of preparing for failure
I’ll just wander off a winner
keeping on the path
to nowhere
really fast

Even when it doesn’t look like love.

Beyond the clouds of personality,

It is always a sunny,warm loving sky.

Up in the air
Unwinding
in the familiar place
that is new

Waiting
wondering
wanting to feel you in my arms

tell me you are thinking of me
the way I am thinking of you

tell me that I’m not alone
in this feeling of wondering
and wanting to be home

In this new delightful place
with you
in my arms

Morning bell rings early
it is time to sit.

Facing the wall
sitting for all beings
third eye opens wide.

Bright energy of knowing presence enters the body.

Clarity, insight and wisdom flow naturally
as the rain falls on the sloped roofs of this Zen mountain sanctuary.

Who is waking the dreaming dreamers?

Whispering quietly
or telling it out loud
to those who will hear.

Reminding the dreamers
that they have the power
to wake up in the dream.

Is it you who sets the example
by being awake?

The Spiritual Journey
doesn’t have to be a long one

Just travel from your head
down to your heart

You are love…

Beyond layers and attachments

trying or not trying

It makes no difference

You are love…

Strings are cut
that which isn’t true
falls away
the curtain comes up
revealing the stage play
of your inner beauty
for all to see
a divine living, loving performance
heartfelt and passionate

I see the beauty in the raw core essense
of who you are
and am touched in a way
in which I cannot describe

You are love.

You want answers?
Forget it!

There is no one here who can help
you

you
can’t even help
you
with this perplexing dilemma
so what makes
you
think that I can help
you

It’s not about
you
it’s about
you
and
you
and
you
and
You

Do you see a pattern emerging?

All the while you think of ways to help
you
blaming other people who bug
you
trying to escape the craziness of
you
but no matter how hard
you
try
to drop thoughts
practice a practice
and get clear
you
are still left with
you

you
think
you
know?
do
you?

aren’t
you
regulary caught up
self absorbed
scared
confused
out of control
or perhaps
calm cool
and absolutely certain

Do
you
see a pattern here?

Remember the story of
You?

the one
you
Tell
you
and everyone else
continuously
always
in your head
jibbering and jabbering

What if I told
You

its just a story?

Would that make
you
mad?

would
you
disagree?

Haven’t
you
been making
you
up?

since
you
can remember?

Just because other people tell
you
that
you
is true

doesn’t mean
you
are

do
you
believe everything
you
hear?

I don’t

most of what people say is
made up bullshit

but that’s ok
you
know what to expect

Don’t say I didn’t warn
you

people
and everything they
are
Do
and say
is made up

HEY YOU!!! TRY THIS ->

Do with the story of
you
what a well behaved
hunting hound does with a ball

DROP IT!
LEAVE IT!

Step away from the story
of
you

no need to run
or hide
or seek

because in the end

YOU
are still HERE!

Like I said
it doesn’t matter

you
is still happening

pretty scary huh? LOL

get it?
just drop
the vitally important
mission critical
made up version of
you

that’s it
the big secret of the sages of all ages

you
should pay me big money for this
therapeutic dialogical healing service
I’m giving
you
curing
you
of
you

because it doesn’t matter

so why not?

you
think it’s absolutely mission critical to be
You

But is this true?

Could this be the secret in this mysterious story plot of
you
that keeps
you
running scared of
you

What are
you
waiting for?

Drop the story of
you

Try it now

because it doesn’t matter if
you
Do

or if
you
don’t

I can offer you nothing
to soothe your wounded heart

In death
there is nothing to get
nothing to give
or forgive
it isn’t about you
or even about them
or us
it’s about

no one

no one being home anymore
no one to send an email
or pick up the phone
silence on the other side

they are gone
forever transformed
into eternity
this is the way
in death

So please don’t be upset
that I can offer you nothing

other than what is left
the mourning
the grief
the time
for remembering
and forgetting

There are no religious fairy tales
that can offer an answer
they are all used up
and aren’t true

what has happened
is permanent
and in this
there is
no hope

but there is a feeling
that can be shared and felt
all the way to the bones
a subtle letting go

and perhaps a deeper
appreciation for what still is
this aliveness, that is here
the aliveness, that they were
and the aliveness, that they are not

they are now just a feeling
a fading memory
drifting farther away
with each passing day
becoming the dirt
becoming the grass
becoming the air
becoming another transformative breath
of life

ahhh… this sweet breath of life…

Being special
means letting go of the reference point
and floating

Who is running?

Who is being pulled?

Who has it figured out, sometimes?

Who has to start over?

Who has stuck tears
and why aren’t they flowing
like a sad river of pain
into so many dry tissues?

Perhaps…. as an experiment
Let go of the internal place where the me
asks who, to an I

Just for a moment
allow a new found ease
to let go of the character
who can ask why
letting imagination and thoughts
come and go
crisp white sheets on the laundry line
in a spring breeze
don’t ask who they are
So why not give it a try
and see
that deep in this mystery
there is imagination happening
it adds something extra to everything
to the you who asks who
to the me who asks why
relaxing into being

It’s all just
charades
magic
people
illusion
In the dream..
and yet all is as it is
happening in the most grand way
playing out as theatre
as it has for centuries
this imaginary trans-generational masquerade ball

Its good to know that you’re here
reading this

sometimes far away
can seem very close
when there is an energetic intimacy
like there is here
right now

I almost wrote a message to apologize
for my intense bundles of words
thrown out
tossed up
un-repenting and restless
A careless melange of ideas and visuals
somewhere between a vivid lucid dreaming
and a high school debate

The Gypsy is at home
everywhere
heart aches
crying a sad song
of homelessness and loss
cursed by the internal
eternal
lack of a center

classless vagabond needs no permission
living on the road without a care
but still caring
deeply and passionately
about the myths and superstitions
of the past

stories and inventions of bygone eras
held over
in a rolling caravan show
delivering low cost entertainment
to judgmental, bleary eyed townsfolk
before moving on to the next village
where the whole process begins again

I have a clue for you..
The sacred is found in the plain ordinary.
The sacred is this “all that there is-ness”,
Unsweetend, unflavored, raw and organic,
beyond knowing,
incredible and pointless,
all at once
as One.

People are individual waves in the sea of humanity.

What single wave can separate from the entirety of the ocean?

Is it pointless to try to be separate, when you already are all of it?

Is this lack of acceptance for what is, what we call being human?

Perhaps it is the relentless, pointless, beauty of the stormy sea?

The pathless path asks for nothing
from no one

With the eyes of a child
setting out on a mossy carpet ride of soft tranquility
discovering that I’ve been here before
that there is nothing to get.

There’s nothing that I have
to do
in order
to do
what it was I started
in the first place.

I’m already here
in this familiar déjà vu
falling down dizzy
jaded and crusty
a salty piss drunk sailor
trying to find his way back home
caught in an endless cycle of false starts
and broken promises
tangled up struggling
in a pile of smelly old nets
wishing the big  boat
would take me away.

Perhaps  the most overlooked
utterly obvious decision
is to awaken.

Meta cognition informs knowing
expanding and illuminating
the special gifts that makes us human.

Dark Matter is the majority of the universe

stars shine across galaxies of vastness
micro organisms fill the oceans
they are both large and small in their own way

Neither of these manifestations are dependent
on the idea of a master builder
with the face of a man

Shroud of personality
midnight veil
changing colors
from onyx
to clear indigo blue.

Subtle facial expressions reflect inner goings-on
secret intentions are uncovered
with a cool deep release of limitation
the thin gauze reveals
deep thoughts
transparently obvious
some hideous
hardly covering the elastic mask
of fear.

Dropping down into shadowy self
where the dream of “I” holds tightly
questioning motives
allow the seeking for wholeness to stop
observing the desperation of ego vanish
with no consequence
none.

Imagination of being separate
ends
with no consequence

Imagination of being whole
ends
with no consequence.

Is there something that needs to be done?
so desperately
for the survival
of your imagined separate soul?

The truth is “you” can’t save you
you are lucky…apparently
there is an experience experiment happening
subtly releasing
“you”
the “you”
that you cannot know.

It already happened
because you already “are this”
the cosmic stuff of the universe.

Life is happening
to you and through you
breathing and heart beating
are happening

You aren’t “doing” any of these function
Are “you”?

So enjoy the liberation!
until the show is over
dance to the music!
revel in the magic!
laugh at the tragic!

Because

this

is

it

Rumi spins poetry
Zen koans illustrate paradox
both are beautiful
and utterly pointless.

Taking a bite out of your seriousness
spit the poison on the ground.

Because it doesn’t matter
if you know your own true nature.

A snake doesn’t know it’s own tail
not the way you know your own story
of personality and justification
of wether “you” are grateful or not
if jack and jill ran up a hill
if the moon is round
or if authority should be respected without question.

How do you feel letting go of “you”?
Dancing puppet pulled by universal strings!
Do you laugh at the idea of “your separate self”
Do you want to struggle against cosmic nature,
Kicking and shouting against your teachers and parents lies?

Or perhaps cursing or praying to an imagined God?
The myth who can’t save you from your own imagination.

Either way
you are still here
Breathing
reading this
and
Relaxing into being

Oneness is beyond “knowing”

it is experiencing life

and allowing the imagination of separation to fade away.

How’s this life of yours?

It doesn’t feel like mine..

But I’m here..

holding up the bones and experiencing breath and emotions..

How’s “your” life?

“This” life is exciting and full of possibilities!

Being adept at being awake is a life long practice.

The virtuoso has a lifetime of practice
in preparation for the moment
when the bow crosses the strings of the violin
on opening night in the great concert hall.

The secret to exceptional performances
is in the mixture of discipline, energy, practice and ultimately
a liberated mastery where the performer and performance
appear in unicity.

Free will whether it exists or not makes no difference,
We can only do what we can do, great or mediocre.

There is no way to escape the dream of life,
except in death, when the dreamer disappears into the abyss.

Humans create dreams and other ephemeral dimensions
in order to escape the pendulum of time and separation.

Could it be said that there are as many dimensions as can be imagined, including the dimensions that are beyond imagination?

The human ability to imagine
is the fountain of our greatest creativity and joy,
as well as the source of violent brutality and mindless compliance
to ideologies of separation, that enslave and destroy.

Does being aware of limitation makes us more free?
Or is it better to take freedom as a social hoax?

More people are waking up to being awake,
it is a simple and yet profound practice of transformation.

Buddha said “illusions are inexhaustible”.
I think he meant it…

When I hear “your story”
about being someone separate
from all that is nature
I feel it is my story too.

Then I devour “the story”
as a leviathan of the deep
would eat up an entire ship and its crew.
Swallowing up tiny humanness
with something far greater than fear.

Floating across the shimmering pond
Buoyant in her being
She is a Swan

Rising above the cool wetness of what is
Lifted up on a feathery cushion of light
An unseen force appears to propel her effortlessly across the water
Pushing along the underneath with nimble feet kicked by lean legs

Neck tall, proud tranquil gaze filled with passionate purpose
Her presence is gentle and kind

A mysterious, sensual force shines from her eyes
I feel it inside my heart and I long to her hold close again
Feeling the silent joy inside

Mystical old world soul
Your light shines across the Siberian prairie
Radiant and elegant a wondrous northern light!

Lifted out of the hardships of this life,
Smiling with a deep sense of knowing.
Strong as a lioness when needed
Your feminine essence is as soft as the petals of a delicate rose
Colorful and in full bloom,
Blushing sweetly on your tender cheek.

Womanhood has a right to be proud of you!
Generations before have struggled and sacrificed everything.
Feel grateful for their lives!
They created the gift that is you.
Your path is to care and share who you are.
Mother, Sister, Daughter together
Never alone in this life, their spirit is always with you.

Embodied as the gift of love and loyalty
Given only to the rightful honor of a true loving Gentleman
Never settling for less than true love and commitment.
Partnership with you is a prize of a living jewel!
Precious and sacred joined together unified as the One.

Russian Beauty you are the Spirit of Mother Russia!
Bearing children of the Motherland.
Your light will shine on to future generations
Through the gift of creating loving family
Long after no one remembers your name.

I’m a sailor with a salty sweet soul
who lives all alone
in Spartan simplicity

Pondering big questions
taking small steps
caring more deeply
about the big blue sea

We are finding a voice of unification
in this song of emancipation
and we don’t have to agree
for there to be beautiful harmony.

Fleeting away to a distant shore my heart takes flight.

How can so far away feel so close?

Deep longing compressed inside, I am a cocoon waiting to open to be touched by your magic.

As butterflies, we shall fly away again in Love.

Softly I speak to you
In my heart
You’re not here
But you’re here
Losing confidence in my ability to maintain perspective
I arrive at a new understanding of not knowing
Completely liberated from certainty
Or at least the momentary suspension of the concept
My ability to regain clarity from a state of confusion seems infinite
Which leads me to believe that perhaps there is infinite clarity everywhere
Waiting patiently all the time, timelessly
Just on the other side of the imagined other side
Whatever form that may take
It’s a great reassurance to know that in not knowing there is knowing
Clearly this is an advantage
To winning
The game
With no rules
The one where no one gets hurt

I wish

Coming around the southern tip of misty old Eire,
An amazing discovery over whelmed my heart.
Reaching over, I gently clasped your hand,
You squeezed mine back with warm reassurance
I sank down inside to the special place in my heart
Feeling a great knowing, knowing a great feeling,
With you, Together.
As we silently drove along, the magical Celtic road.

Go into the “Deep Cave of the Dragon”
The one down inside of you
Love the ugly, dark, scary, painful places

Sitting in silence
Sitting in stillness
Study the self

Reflect on the stories you hear
The stories you tell
Watching the mind

Be kind to the stories
Be gentle to the stories

Go inside where it is the most uncomfortable
Sit with all of it
Love all of it!

Far from fundamentalism
transparent in Oneness

I am the nectar in the center of the blossom
Fresh as a drop of morning dew
beckoning the honey bee to come drink
intoxicating liquor of sacred soul

There is really nothing I can do to help you.

Except to remind you that you’re already here
And that no one is doing any of this “me-ing”!

It’s just what’s happening!
Beautiful and pointless
Divine, ecstatic and utterly simple!

I could fall in love with you
those words just fell out of my mouth
with a desire to express the energy I feel when I’m with you

It wasn’t easy to say
For a moment
Until they came out
Then it was really easy
A feeling of opening happened
A trusting of love

I can’t control if you will or won’t reciprocate
Whether you are interested or willing
Not knowing if you are worthy or if you think I am
Trusting that I don’t know if I can trust you
I say it anyway
And I mean it

You said I might be the next bull in your China shop
Are you really that fragile?
Or are you protecting something even more delicate than fine bone China?
What could that be?
Your heart?
A story?
The truth?
A lie?

It doesn’t matter
To me
This me that you are trying to figure out
I don’t care who I am
It doesn’t matter
Because I’m still here as I am

Feeling your heart close to mine
Seems to matter in a way that other things haven’t
In a long time

I’d say that it’s scary
But I’d be lying to myself and to you
It feels fantastic!
As I fall asleep with the warm glow of you in my heart
Feeling genuinely alive

Love is this
Right here
Right now

Everything you see and touch
hear and smell
It’s all part of it

You can wait if you want to
You can believe that it’s not here yet

But it doesn’t matter
It won’t be arriving
It won’t be leaving

You can believe that you need to do something to have it
But it doesn’t matter
Because it already Is you

Why then do we need another person to know it?
Is it to share?
Is it to grow?
Is it to heal?
Is it to transform?

Everything is already love
even if it does’t look like it
It is love

Dancing with you last night
My feet moved magically under legs

Shadows came right up out of the floor
Lifting us higher and higher
To help us touch the sky

Developing sensual physical communication
Playing with subtle forces of divine light
There was unification of hearts and minds
Spinning and whirling in a sea of graceful fluidity

The night melted away
Timelessly transformed
Romance dance

I can still feel you in my arms
Folded deep beside me
Protected by my soul

Fingertips touching lightly
Looking into your eyes
When you smile that gentle knowing smile
I dissolve into the ocean of you

Dancing in the formless
Weaving to and fro
Souls colliding

Effortlessly doing the heavy lifting together
Easily the words float
From far away

Into inner space
Transforming desire
Magical passion

Life’s sweet ephemeral joy appearing for a moment
Suspending between dimensions
deep and wide
sinking to a place
That has no time

Feeling moved to move

… Come float my way

And play with words and silence.

My alley is filled with darkness
A place where sleeping fools lie
for a few restless frozen hours
passed out in pissed soaked pants

Doing the stationary backstroke
in filthy scum water pools

Rolling around in black rancid kitchen grease
oozing from the pavement

sautéed in motor oil and garbage juice
spiced with used needles and condoms

Bits of sticky crap cover the soles
of lost souls who make up
this alley of horror
Filth and depravity

There is a river of poison
Running behind opulent glimmering facades
shiny shopping veneers masking the shadow side

It’s a place where consumer waste is stored
Rolling toxic dumpsters
Industrial metal coffins
Line the dimly lit
concrete passageways of misery

Sunshine is immune for the cracks
of black purgatory foulness
Germs and garbage thrive
but love does not

My alley is real
It hurts
There is no love here
Parents are here
Children are here
members of the lost tribe
do a tribal death dance

No home cooked meals or fresh linens
greet you here
Just drug zombies worshipping pain
with outstretched pock marked arms
paying homage to the dark hole with no end

No one pretends to care anymore
because they have lost touch with those feelings
no one is worth caring about here

There is no use pretending
Everyone is equal
in the alley of pain and misfortune

you can smell the bullshit of someone else’s miserable story
it goes with the stench of the trash
All just garbage in the end
Maybe that’s why this place feels like home
because when it comes down to it
I trust that dumpster filled with trash over there
More than I trust you

I let myself get lost in the crowd
Always lost and always found

Never touching the floor
Rooted to the earth

Walking through the hologram of light
People are clouds
Walls are nothing

Spreading love
Watching the watcher

I invented you

Now disappear

I have news you may not want to hear

It doesn’t matter
If you work it out
Work on it
Work through it
Get into it
Get over it
Get out of it
Go deeper
wade into the shadows
or just wallow in the shallows

There is no one doing any of this
It’s just what’s happening
To no one separate person

Which doesn’t matter
And having it not matter
Doesn’t matter either

This is the beautiful, liberated
“so-what-ness”
of “what-is-ness”

Waking up in the dream

Beloved my beloved

Reflected in no reflection

Whole in oneness

In love

There is no enlightenment

There is only awakening

To this No-One
Being No-Thing

In Oneness

People have held mirrors up to me all of my life
To teach, to show, to share, to exchange
Mirrors that I was told reflect everything that there is
That it is all just a reflection of “me”

But what I didn’t realize
Was that they were looking through one way glass
And I didn’t know it
I was just staring blankly back at myself
Unable to see them laughing at me

Being separate is a story
Being is not a story
Being is not separate

You want love?
You want to be loved?
Then drop the story
The “I” story
The “me” story
The “we” story

Drop the story
Be love
It’s that simple

I found myself in the circumference

Of my own wheel

Give me some hope and I’ll hand you a rope
You can throw it over a tree limb and see if it is strong enough
To hold the weight of a grown man
If it is you can tie a noose knot on one end and make sure it won’t come loose
Once you’ve done this
Imagine a man named
Hope

This man isn’t your friend in fact he is a murderer
He has been killing the precious and most dear
Moments of your life as long as you can remember
So now it’s time for him to get what he deserves
What has been coming to him
His karmic debt to the universe must be paid
Now is the time
For Hope to die

He never did any good for
He kept making you believe that things would be different
He kept making you believe that people would be different
Who was responsible for all this misery and loss?
Hope

So fix the rope around his neck and cinch it good and tight
While he sits on top a horse grab yourself a riding crop
Say your last good byes and listen to his final words
Then he will surely say to you

I am you, you are me, we are one in the same
When you kill me you kill yourself
Everything I have done to you, you have done to you
There is no point to kill for I am dead already
In fact I was never born because I have always been you already

So here we are the condemned and the executioner
In this time of death
Together
Apart
We both know that Hope must die
So be done with it
Send me to my death and choose to live once more!

Love has no moving pieces
No-thing to break
No-thing to heal
No-thing to move
grieve, give or receive

Love is everywhere
It is oneness
It is this oneness
This presence
This life

Pain and struggle begin and end with a story
The story of “I”
The story that there is choice
The story that there is something that can be done to love
The story that love is a something that can be sent or received
The story of no-thing appearing as something
In this dream
The dream of separation
In the illusion of the “I” story
Appearing in the play
Appearing in this movie
Of consciousness
In oneness

Divided by the notion of a mirror
The mirror of confusion
The mirror of not love
The mirror of love
The mirror is a story
The story that says there is something “I” can be
Is there anything for no-thing to “be” in oneness?
The story that there is something “I” can do
Is there anything for no-thing to “do” in oneness?
The mirror story is the story of separation
The mirror is a reminder that there is no-thing separate from oneness
In the play
In this dream
In oneness

Is love a stamped letter with a return address?
Is love a carrier pigeon bringing a message home?
Is love a bottle tossed in the ocean with a secret message?
Is love the “other” separate from “I”?
“Who am I?”
The “I” that appears to be able to perceive no-thing as something?
In the play
In this dream
In oneness

We tell stories to imagine a journey that cannot be traveled
Tell me where is the road to love?
Is it on the frozen tundra of winter war?
Is it a wounded body crushed under a muddy wagon wheel?
Is it a fragrant flower inviting silent joy?
Is it lovers intertwined in the thousandth intoxicating kiss?

Who is this “I” who can say where love “is”?
Who is this “I” who defines what love “is” or “isn’t”
This no-thing called love appearing as something
In the play
In this dream
In oneness

Everything we do
We do
So we don’t have to do it
That is all

Thank you for sharing the dream
That love can be sent
That love can be received
That love is someone other than “I”
That there is an “I”
That love can come back
To where it already is
In the play
In this dream
In oneness

Thank you for the reminder
That Love is already home

I like to say goodbye in French

Adieu

It is the dew that says goodbye

Evaporating in the morning sun

You say to me “keep opening your heart”

I say

There is nothing to do to keep my heart open
There is nothing to close

I am alive

There are no moving parts
There are no walls
There are no doors
There is no separation
There is just this living being
Connected to all that there is
In this

There were stories I told
There are stories I can tell
There are stories that could be rewritten
And then there is just dropping
the story
Completely

Mostly it seems that the best thing to do
Is to say less
About all of it
To be in the silence
As words don’t really mean anything
Especially the conversation
That says that my heart is closed
That the love that is here
Always
Is limited in some way

By the mind
That is imagination
By illusion
That is nothing

The story of the closed heart
is what it is
A story

Feeling compassion for the story
of not love
Where does it come from?

It comes from love
Wanting to be loved

It comes from love
Asking for love to be more loving

In order to feel love
from the love

That is already
Love

Is it possible for love
To be any more love
Than love already is?

Resting in contemplation
Feeling the heart

Taking a deep breath
Feeling the heart

I am aware
I am open
I am love

All of this that there is
All of it
As it is
Right now

Embrace it
Open up to this
As it is
Right now

Live it fully
As it is
Wake up!
Do it now

One flower in the desert
Is the desert

One drop of water in the ocean
Is the ocean

The desert is connected to the ocean
The ocean is connected to the desert

Earth is whole

Waking up in this dream
Waking out of separation
Waking up to oneness
Waking up in love

I AM A FLOWER

I AM ONE

WITH THE ONE

All important teachers are here

To remind us

We need no teachers

All division begins from the whole

All separation returns to oneness

By meeting itself as it is

It is here
Right now
It is me
It is you
Inside and outside
Throughout

Right here
Everywhere
In all that there is

I can touch you and feel it
You can touch me and feel it

Put out your hand and feel the heat from my palm
Radiating outward from my heart to your soul

Embrace the warm glow
Bask in the beloved

Shifting
Aware
Sharing in the infinite loop that is this life
Right here
Right now
Always

This is it
It is all there is
It is right here
It is her
It is him
It is we
It is that
It is us
It is them

This is wholeness
This is Oneness
Always

It is really this simple
This is it
This is love

Breathe deeply
Fill your lungs full
Expand the heart
Breathe to the solar plexus, to the belly
Down through the roots of the feet
Send them all the way down to the molten core of the earth

Breathe bright white energy up the spine
To the top of the crown
Opening on top as a jeweled lotus
Shooting a golden thread of intention to the heavens
Connecting to The One
The glorious Oneness of love

Your relentless need for approval

Is the icing

On your delicious homemade

Rejection cake

You are extremely creative

Flying very high and diving very deep

Darting around as quickly as a barn swallow in a summer lightning storm

I see how you see me
Crystal clear
Through the looking glass
Details, thoughts, words, feelings
Life simply flows
Here
In this place
Where we meet
Without judgment
Without walls
A coming together in awareness
A communion of beautiful souls
Igniting powerful presence
Realizing incredible goals

I let myself dissolve into a morning dew
A drop on a leaf welling up growing bigger and heavier
The leaf droops down further nearly touching the ground
Awareness, expanding, growing, breathing, forming new limits
Expanding, contracting, moving inward and outward
Pulsating droplet ready to fall, ready to be swallowed by the ground
Falling, falling, deeper, deeper,
The bubble drops, explodes and goes back to the life energy from where it came
Disappearing into the microcosmic void, a mere droplet
Dew, how I love you!
Shining bright, reflecting light, glistening in the sun
A jewel radiant and transparent filled with space and light
There are an endless number of these
Yet none are the same
What magnificence to behold!
To witness just one, of the one, as one
No matter the number it still comes back to one and only one
There is still time to see the droplet fall
Hanging onto the texture of the leaf by the pressure of atmosphere
The very molecules of its presence
This tiny bead is made up of all existence
Inside and outside it makes on difference to see which one
This drop is, there is nothing to know about it
To identify with a droplet may seem absurd
Though no more absurd then to be attached to any inanimate or animate object
These “things” we value are a trick we play on each other
Making it more difficult to see that there is no value that we do not create
How liberating to see the bondage to Thingism
To look toward a single drop of water on a tender green leaf
To see the glory and grace of all this that there is
As it is, as life, before, below and above, meeting as one
In this golden misty morning

I close my eyes and see your smiling face
There is softness when I think of you
A sweet loving girl who is always there
Even in the thunder of your storms

You are the one who ran away and found safety
Who transitioned from the house of sad stories
To the mansion on the drive

Innocent, stubborn and proud
Why do you pull my heart strings?
Even when you aren’t trying
When you push me away
Giving me your hard headed goat horns
Instead of your tender froggy lips

The hardest thing to do is hanging on to your tiger tail
Flying behind your fur coat and roaring mouth
But when your fury finally turns to peace
Our souls relax into deep space
The place where we rest in silence
It is a place of the heart
The one without words

There is a dark corner where illusion ends
And the web of sticky withholding begins

It starts with a story and ends with a knife in the back or stomach
Either way your handy friend, becomes a hunter from a victim

Foolish cowardice disguised as loyalty
Honor and vengeance are brothers
Doomed to die on the battlefield of regret

The road is long
Worn boots give way to bloody feet
Siberia waits with open arms
Allowing all to enter but none to leave
Kolyma will eat your flesh and bury your bones
In the bog of labor camp 682
The excitement to tell will eat the gut
A worm in the belly that will not leave

This secret is too much to bear
The poison of which robs me of my very breath
Of this precious life I carry

Where can I hide this woeful lament this obligation of doom?
Perhaps it is a dream and it will fly away to the moonlit silent night
Leaving my heart to thaw by this spring morning dew

I have a new valentine this year

It is the One
It is right now
This breath
This life
This existence
Right here…
this…
All of this…
Oneness

Love of the One that never fails
as it is always the One
It is the love without time
without limit

Nobody and nothing can take it away as it is not separate
So there is nothing to do to give or receive
It is already always happening

Dissolving in an instant giving over to complete intimacy
Folding into this moment continuously as it is
All contexts of love are contained in the One
Self love, unconditional love, divine love are all illusive patterns
Fables of the mind, dressed up with noble intention
Human imagination does what it does
sometimes that means creating dreams of painful separation

Shifting is simple and yet a choice that’s rarely ever made
Relaxing the focus on external validation
Surrendering to this moment completely
Engaged awareness
Energy transmission
Complete connection
Being oneness with the One

There is nothing to do to complete the circuit with the One
There is nothing separate from the One
Only perfect oneness with the One

I am in love with the One
Which is the same thing as loving Me

Here I am turning in on myself

the violence begins

with a single thought

Then I move into another layer

regretting and clenching

It feels like this will never end

This feeling

as transitory as it is

The holding on

cuts the same path

across the same wound

Tearing the same piece

of the same flesh

Blood cascades

from self infliction

as punishment

for what?

I don’t know

But it is never enough

I am not my story
I am pure consciousness

Love comes to me easily
Love flows continually outward

Blossoming into the flow of creation

Some people collect stamps
Some people collect vintage cars
Some people collect old rugs
Some people collect modern art
Some people collect Royal Doulton china

Some people collect little silver tea spoons,
With places they’ve visited enameled to the handles on tiny plaques
Some people even collect dead bugs

But me, I’m different
I collect people with personality disorders
Borderline
Narcissistic
Histrionic
Anti social

they see me and they come running
Right across the room
I’m not sure why, but they do
I often relate this to my troubled childhood
Sometimes I think I’m the crazy one

Smooth, charming and seductive
Controlling, angry and unpredictable
Are they a reflection of me?
Or a mirage I am projecting and creating?

Today I woke up in the middle of this movie I’ve been making

I’m tired of it

I think it’s time to write a new script

It just happened
Two people who gave up on giving
Tired of trying
Tried of lying

Feeling warm tender glow within
Radiating outward
Comfortable in our skin
Telling the truth
Aspects of ourselves connected
Aligning and dancing into joys night

Wholeness and wholeness
Equaling divine loving energy

Complete in the moment
Not asking for permission
Not making demands
Nothing to get
An outpouring of love
Refreshing and alive

Letting go into the tender place that isn’t felt enough
Stillness and calm wash over me

I see the ache in my heart gently drift away
Dissolving with you in my arms

Sitting on big rocks
Stopping to pause
Stillness is natural

Slipping down inward
The context deepens
Boulders beat silently to the rhythm of Life
One timeless moment occurring
in gravities heavy stone core

Love is pure and simple
It is what we do around it that causes so much pain

Removing blocking layers exposes the nakedness of our divine beauty
The truth of who we are can be embraced with complete acceptance
Devotion and gratitude then encompass our whole humanness

Love is simple
We are not simple
Love is alive
We are alive

In knowing this
We have every moment to choose to live love

Your presence
Your eyes
Where did you come from?
Appearing magically on this moonlit solstice night

Standing here we find ourselves in wholeness
Right here
Right now
We have always been here
We have always known each other

You are a woman in the form of a poised dancer
In dignity, intelligence and with grace
You simply know
In a way beyond words
Seeing all the way to the heart
Connecting to the core
Impulses, move, begin and suspend
Every cell of your being
Is ready for this precious moment

Feeling creative spiritual life energy flow upward
Ecstatic light spiraling around the body universe
Passionate energy fountains in an endless wellspring
Overflowing with a magnificent iridescent loving glow

Sweet softness in your eyes
Soft silence between your words
The stars must have lined up in unison
To make a path for our souls to merge

In meeting you
I fall upside down
Floating all the way up
To the summer solstice moon
Your presence
Your eyes
Where did you come from?
Appearing magically on this moonlit solstice night

Standing here we find ourselves in wholeness
Right here
Right now
We have always been here
We have always known each other

You are a woman in the form of a poised dancer
In dignity, intelligence and with grace
You simply know
In a way beyond words
Seeing all the way to the heart
Connecting to the core
Impulses, move, begin and suspend
Every cell of your being
Is ready for this precious moment

Feeling creative spiritual life energy flow upward
Ecstatic light spiraling around the body universe
Passionate energy fountains in an endless wellspring
Overflowing with a magnificent iridescent loving glow

Sweet softness in your eyes
Soft silence between your words
The stars must have lined up in unison
To make a path for our souls to merge

In meeting you
I fall upside down
Floating all the way up
To the summer solstice moon

Lives are symphonies

They come to an end

This is the sweet sad music of life

I see you cresting up out of the sea
Can you see me rolling on the swell?

Unique and special
Crashing together as one
Cascading onto the shore

We are waves in the ocean
We are the ocean

We are not separate
Nothing is separate

I confess to a spot of glee
It was a moth on the wall
I smacked it quick
It fell upside down
Kicked under the baseboard
There was a feeling of completion in doing it
Finalizing the life of someone else
How much punctuation is there in that?
There is no further grammatical correction needed
It is just death
Period

It is the place of dreams
Where the light gives way to night
Treading softly on moist ground
All sounds are amplified
The imagination works wondrous wild
Manifesting visions of all kinds
Creating illusions of fear to nip at the heels
Animals, men and spirits all clamor to grab hold
But none grasp tighter than the mind

Dante Alighieri stepped into the woods
Not knowing what he would find

In the midway of this our mortal life,
I found me in a gloomy wood, astray
Gone from the path direct: and e’en to tell,
It were no easy task, how savage wild
That forest, how robust and rough its growth,
Which to remember only, my dismay
Renews, in bitterness not far from death.

He was met by Virgil and was guided through hell, purgatory and paradise.
They stopped along the way to witness all kinds of suffering and joy.

This is the journey we take every time we risk the unknowable
It takes us through the shadows of the mind
To the salvation of our own presence
The willingness to go through that which we fear most
Will bring us closer to the source of our own truth
The truth of who we are

Tonight I stepped in the woods
Not knowing
Allowing my feet to carry me
Letting my mind wander along the path
Until I could barely see
Relaxing into the unknowable, un-seeable
Trusting my senses, allowing my mind to run wild
Observing fear and relinquishing its grip on my heart
Breathing and walking through what is

The best parts of last night
Were the ones with no words,
Deep presence moments
A kind knowing gaze
Emotional synergy
Physical resonance
Sweet understanding
Sensual articulation
Elegant form and formlessness

Standing on the porch tonight
Looking down at the wet green ground below
I thought my eyes were going bad
The earth was morphing, moving and dancing
I caught what I perceived was a true glimpse of ever present manifestation
Interconnected force of nature was swirling in light
Magnificent wholeness was breathing in and out
Appearing as one moment of universal creation
My eyes were clear
I could see the trees and the ground pulsating with life in unison

The moon was nearly full
On this magical oddly warm autumn night
Looking at the ground
I was blessed with fresh clear vision
Finally seeing what is always already happening
Overwhelmed with gratitude
I walked over to the hundred year old mighty pine
Just to see if what I was sensing was a mirage
Touching it I connected to the strength of its tree-ness
Formless, I was immediately pulled into the trunk
Through the bark
I shot up past the branches to the tip top
Spreading out I went down to the roots
Surging together as one energy
Being one as a tree, not two forms, just one not two or three
The mighty trunk was eight feet around and still growing
I was growing with it in shape and wisdom
Energy exploded hundreds of feel tall and yards deep
I stood transfixed holding on to the power of existence

Not for one moment did I feel like the “I” mattered
There was no reference point to point to
Or from

I had finally done it
I disappeared
And it felt really good

Where is my Teacher?
I was too shy to ask him why?
Too shy to find my own way home

Where is my Teacher?
I tried to do my practice the best I could
But failed so many times to do it right.

Where is my Teacher?
I know my enlightenment is coming soon
But I can’t do it without him.

Where is my Teacher?
He loves me and accepts me unconditionally
The way my parents never could

Where is my Teacher?
He is in my guts rooted in the gunk of the organs
Telling me more detailed instructions than a super computer

Where is my Teacher?
Hiding behind the façade of an expert
Peering out from a blind iron mask

Where is my Teacher?
Sitting on a golden pillow of light
Hovering above the ground
Carefully planning more exercises

Where is my Teacher?
My Teacher is everything that has ever been done to me
My Teacher is everything that I’ve ever done
My Teacher is everything that is perceived in this world
My Teacher is everything that is not perceived in this world
My concept of Teacher is a self imposed barrier
To realizing the unknowable brilliance that is already, always manifest.

Held up by scaffolding
Secured with duct tape
Pushing against myself
I can feel the tangled threads of the web
Wrapped around my arms and legs
I am a struggling puppet swearing at God

I

I am

Open

Opening

Openness

Openfullness

Openfulllessness

Openfullness

Openness

Opening

Open

I am

I

Open Eyes
just in time to see a golden leaf
float to the ground

Open Eyes
into the darkness
behind the veil of eyelid

Open Ears
to hear the meditation bell sound
at the end of another sitting

Open Ears
to hear the teacher speak the words
that sink the deepest

Open Senses
aware that the one who is watching
may not be looking

Open Senses
to the truth that this intense feeling
is not real

Open Mind
to discover that it is so noisy in here
that there is nothing to hear

Open Mind
to the possibility of allowing no mind
to spontaneously occur

Open Heart
beating, glowing, feeling
expanding with each breath

Open Heart
allowing energy from the chest
to pour through the arms
and out into the world

The grasping of the mind
The running of the bulls
To chase and be chased
Both are dangerous

UNHEEDED

There is nothing to work on

Wholeness needs no repair

Entice me to love you
Call me and I will answer
Be here and I will love you
Can you hear my call for love?

I just want you to answer
There is nothing more than that
To answer quietly

That’s what I need to hear
Longing to touch and be touched
Through tenderness
Touching grace

Beauty transcending form
Merging as two illusions into swans
Floating along unaware of the goings on

Feeling the synergy and connection
Wing on wing intertwined in union
Breathing in unison merged life force
Unified consciousness of love

Spiritual progress is realizing that you don’t exist.

I am the mirror

I am the image in the mirror

I threw a million pebbles
Into a thousand ponds
And it didn’t change a thing

Here you are in front of me
Being Love
Reflecting stillness
My beloved

I’m trying to remember what felt so incredibly crucial
just a moment ago

I can’t recall specifically
But I have a feeling of what it was

Gripped with panic
Wrought with fear

Feeling harnessed to troubled thoughts
Mean spirited faces swirl around inside

Struggling for survival
Struggling for personality
Living a life of endless shame and mistakes
I defend my identity from imminent destruction

Can’t seem to get away from the judgments and inner accusations

Then I remember

Breathing
Shifting
Dissolving
Letting go

Illusions just fade away

Seeing beyond stories
Going past familiar mental constructs
Side stepping repetitive conversational spirals
Multiple dimensions open wide to reveal
Just how simple it is
To surrender

There is no quick or clever thinking to do in this
No catching up
No preparation
No completion
No certainty of knowing

What was I thinking?
In too much thought

Ahhhhh the release….

In not having to be right
In already being here

You drove your way to my heart
I left the keys on the counter
You took the top down and went for a ride

Go ahead
Tell yourself that it’s time to go
Push away that which you love
Find a clever reason not to feel the intensity
Discover the truth of losing yourself in the other
Listen to voice that is drowning in the fear of your fear
Feel how scary it is the abandon your insecurities
In favor of love

Abandonment is a visitor that doesn’t come uninvited
What good does it do to tell yourself that this doesn’t matter?
It really doesn’t, does it?
In the end everything fades away
The evening sun comes home
Bowing beyond the horizon

Try to imagine yourself standing in the rain as an old person
Standing there with your lover beside you
Holding the umbrella overhead
Are we together as we?
Or are you alone and cold with big heavy bags?

Feel the beauty in this moment
This summer of love
Innocence and experience
Learning and touching
Sharing and feeling
It was supposed to be a light fling
But it surprised both of us

Now we have a lot of explaining to do
Shifting deeper into the present
Feeling the warm love of this embrace
Intertwined in ecstasy
Exploring each other with sensualist secrets
We are each others lover

No words to tell
No voice to speak
Sighs and breaths of passion
Tears of joy
Shaky legs tell all
Trembling with the after murmurs

When the time comes
We will say good bye
Pretending that we are making no promises
Precious kisses seem to last forever
But soon they will be gone
Embracing the impermanence of life
This doesn’t mean that we won’t see each other again
But let’s not drive each other crazy from afar

Remaining open to change
Not living ahead
We can enjoy the moment
The moment that is now

Frustrated in the moment knowing the hurt will come soon
I raise the stakes giving myself over fully
Choosing to surrender to this special moment
To you special woman
The soul of which I have touched
Whose soul has touched me

I thank you for your gift
The gift of you
You are beautiful
I love you
Thank you

Drifting into mutual solitude
Dancing the night away
Go ahead and drink the way you forgot how to
Steal the freedom that you gave away
but never left

“Clean and refreshing.”

Wasn’t that what I called you?

Not sure why I did.

Perhaps it was the light in your eyes

When we first met

Once I pried the groovy sunglasses off

To see them smile

“You seem so familiar to me.”

Wasn’t that what you said?

You are a bird

Just like the silver one around your neck

Fluttering by

I can feel the wind from your wings

I can’t catch you

I can only get a glimpse

In the distance

You are either with the other birds

Or singing a sweet tune

Always from afar

Call back to me!

Let me know you’re here

Hanging from shimmering threads

You dance in the darkness

Suspended from above

At home without gravity

Weightless wonder

Glimmering and shifting upwards

You twist and turn into the unseen and unknown

Falling and flying

Fluttering and spinning

Heaven sent you as an inspiration

Angelic acrobatic beauty

There is a mixture of longing, love and despair

When I hear your sweet bird song

The one that makes so much sense

I pause and listen to my inner voice

The one that just knows

Who cannot afford this fantasy for even one more moment

I had plenty of things to say

But it never seems to come out of my mouth, attached to a noise

There hasn’t seemed an opportunity to tell the truth

At any time

And that time that hasn’t been

Seems to be dwindling down

Even further

Precious are the moments between heart beats

Let us stop and breathe in the sweetness of life

Filling our nostrils and feeding hungry lungs

Dancing in rhythmic eternity

I decided to write to you

Because I gave up trying

I’m fed up with lying

To me and to you

I think you know this already

We are in a stuck place right now

Will it ever change?

Watching the aerial dance

With my feet on the ground

I don’t like heights and I can’t fly

But I can catch you if you fall!

You are of the sky

I know this

Flying forever free

On nothing but air

Dancing on a ribbon of clouds

I wake up

Out of my dream

It is over

I am relieved

There is nothing to do

Except go back to sleep

Until I wake once more

I was at a baseball game tonight and I remember thinking

That I’d rather be on Salt Spring Island

Feeling sincere heart energy and community

Then the cheering fans and fireworks

It is all a distraction from the truth

of what really matters to me

Feeling like a worn out Winnie the Pooh
Stuffing coming out of my unstitched seams
Wandering around the yard looking for a home
Happy friends with warm hugs
Now travelers leaving and turning away
I keep turning deeper inward and wonder where they have all gone
Warm hugs and tender eyes just photo fragments in my mind
Back to the other world where they emerged from
This one just diminished like the end of a great OM
The yoga circus came to town
And the yoga circus left
Big tent down
The Yogi walking is in the field
Followed by a white parasol and loyalists
Supervising new rock walls are built on demand
As quickly as he can point they build them
Maybe that’s what I don’t like about big group events
It’s only human
To build these make shift structures
Shacks and temples

When I look at you
I see the world in a brighter way
The totality of togetherness is silky smooth
Easy and Dreamy

The envelope of the universe tears itself open to be in our midst
Just knowing
Just being

Walking through automatic doors
Riding invisible buses
No impediment protests our journey
Sweeping good currents
Yields into harmonious flow

We have a closeness that isn’t too close
It is a real surreal calm
We know that life can be hard
But we are not scared
Right now it is simple
Real and without illusion
Trusting, relaxing into confidence
It is what a nurturing intimate relationship should feel like

A monochrome foreign film
A European romance
A story of passion where life is beautiful, stylish and easy
With a film noir twist and a bitter sweet ending

Knowing that this may soon be over
Expectations and plans are suspended
This is the summer of love
Unabashed lust lets loose with a nighttime display of light
Yesterday I wondered if I would get too attached and feel pain?
Today I don’t care because my heart is open
I can’t be bothered to wrap it in barbed wire anymore
The barbs protect from the outside but hurt on the inside
I’m a humanitarian and philanthropist giving away my emotional wealth
If someone wants to take it
Then they must need it more than I
And I have plenty to give
So I give it away

Kissing your body slowly from head to toe
I paint and sculpt you with my hands and lips
Stopping each moment to taste your goodness
White velvet skin, sugar frosted with freckles
I sprinkle a galaxy of kisses on your body
Pink nipples discreetly request wet mouth
I see your face in erotic shadows
Your torso riding above mine in rhythm
Holding your hips, your hands grasp the wall
Dancing together in tantric ecstasy
Insides quake and explode in unison
We pleasure each other in harmonic crescendo
Dying a little death from the sensuality
Diving deep into the mattress
Heavy and wet we rest
What is left is a satisfied sleeping smile
Nestled in your curly golden locks
Eyes closed and dreaming

You are asleep in the bedroom and I am here swirling in words
Spinning and dancing images, feelings and sound
Melting in the precious embers of our glow
Getting it all down before I join you in restful sleep

Icelandic North Sea cousin
Blue moon spice fever reveler
Gypsy Camp Fire Girl Guide
Artistic musical conductor of dreams
Luscious lipped cherry pie blossom Lolita

I used to have a big crush on you
Thought you were the girl for me
Until I realized that you are the star
And that you need to be up in the sky all by yourself
To shine the way that you do

It is far simpler than you imagined
Up to this point

Now you are in alignment
with enlightenment

Give up looking for the answers in stories

The story you have about your story
is what impedes life from flowing

Separating you
from your dreams

Give yourself a gift

The gift of not knowing what to do

You can let go of what feels very important

And still get things done

Easily

As you relax into clarity

When time opens up the world stands still
The speed of society shifts static
Walking between the moments is effortless
Gravity and form become translucent
Motivation and human constructs flatten
Energy and breath disappear into the unseen
And the unknowable becomes clear

When you walk into the room I feel you from afar
I try not to stare and show that I feel your warmth
It is pointless to hide since everyone can tell.
There is a way of communication on many levels
A quite tone of understanding and care
I think about it when I am alone
And wonder if I will experience it with you
Do you feel what I feel in your own way?
Or am I alone in this feeling?
I don’t think so I know what I know and trust it.

The veneer is thin
The one you perceive between you and the world
The veneer that you project to protect
You

It is a communion wafer suspended in space that you think you own and manipulate
It is an illusion
There is nothing there
No static impermeable super-surface or gate surrounds you
It is a mental concoction
A super hero resource of absurdity
Is not any-thing
It is energy held inside
Internal cyclical patterning
Conscious and unconscious
It is a story around a story that seemingly offers some outer protection

However
There is no protection in projection
Control is an illusion
There is no place to hide from the truth
Believing illusion consumes life energy
Believing illusion impedes receiving
Believing illusion impedes giving
Believing illusion restricts the flow of love

Seeing that imagined externalized protection projection is an illusion
Obliterates the mental energy veneer into non-dual unified spaciousness

I wish we could go to India town today
Eat loads of cheap chicken curry buffet
Watch endless stories of Bollywood love
While we laugh and cry in our steaming chai

I am not a victim
There is no escaping

I am not my story
There are no excuses

But I remember things sometimes

Lying next to you I can hardly stand it.
I love you but I want to sleep with other women.
I have wanted to for a long time now.
It is my nature.

Today in the book store the two young Japanese girls
Everywhere I look this spring time I see female desire
We barely have passion
We have a mutual pain we share
We have distrust and insecurity
My stomach hurts
I am tired I just want you to go.
Please just leave me alone.
I want my life

This damn gag I can’t take off of my mouth
I don’t dislike you
I just want you to leave
I want to do what I want to do
When I want to do it
With whom

I need to quite lying to myself and to you
This is not what I want and need.

I am on the edge of aloneness

Stepping cautiously forward
Looking out over the abyss

I’m scared I’m going to fall to a painful death

Maybe I’m just afraid of flying?

Bleached brick wall
Swollen poison river
Corroded scrap heap
Toxic reservoir dumping ground
Dust mask wearing scrap pickers
Bent over a yard of bits and pieces
Industrial assembly line carrying mass production
Raw goods turned into finished goods
Finished goods transported in containers
International distribution ship yard loads
Freighter refinery smoky haze docks
Coal burning furnace turbine electric generation
Old cites in rubble make way for paved master developments
Urban congestion speeds on asphalt arteries
Corporate flag soaring above manufacturing facility
Brown bits of ore amassed into monolithic piles
Everywhere workers work working work
Disposable expendable essential workers
Willingly fulfilling destinies role as labor slaves

Just so we can enjoy this lifestyle we deserve

Giving is a wonderful gift
Try it and see if you like it
At first it feels strange
As it doesn’t go with the flow of what we know
But then as you do it more
You get better at it
After awhile it starts to feel
Really good

When you are deeply troubled
Give your grief and worry away
When you are really happy
Give your love and joy away
Give away the material and the un-seeable
Until they are gone
If they come back
Give them away again
With no reservations

Give your stories away
The ones you hold so dear
Give them as gifts
Not for barter
Just as gifts
After all they are just stories
More stories will come
Give those away too

Give generously
To you
Giving is free
Give generously
To me
Giving is fearless

Whatever you have to give
Give without expectation
See yourself as a gift to give
Give yourself as a gift

You may want to get over something
Why get over something
When you can just give it away?
It’s much less work just to give it away
Then no one will stumble and fall over it again later on

Giving things away means that you’re done with them
In that moment you are done
There’s nothing more to do
Except to keep giving
Giving the gift

The gift
Is to see that you are holding on to something
Holding onto what?
An illusion?
A delusion?
See yourself grasping illusions?
See your delusions as gifts
Then give them away
If you get confused about giving them away
Then give the confusion about giving them away
As a gift

Giving is a gift
The gift is giving without trying to get something in return
The gift of the gift
Is love

Raven feathers trailing behind her
She moves without a movie

She looks like she could be an illusion
But that isn’t the case

She is a place where dark is light
light is dark

Sharing a mystical world of seeing
not seeing

Telling stories that should be said
but aren’t spoken

Subtle differences seem small
galaxies thin

When we share a honeyed glance
Across the Milky Way
Across the table

Slicing the unknowable into subsections
Then gluing it back together with vivid imagination

Identity, separation and the non-dual
These are the specials of the day

Laid bare to be seen by the microscope of mutual viewpoint
Connected and sustained by an inner world so small
It could fall through the pores of your skin

Sing the song of sadness with a smile
Crooked tears run backwards into souls aching well

Say goodbye to the black bird
Flying alone in the night

O’ Sweet One
My decadent trepidation
What a sweet confection you are!
For the lip
Or the tip of the tongue

Mouth watering goodness
Fragrant goddess

Just out of reach
On the other side of the candy store glass

Looking across unseen dimensions
Reflecting, connecting, knowing, sensing, caring
Riding the red line of the laser
From core to core

I see your eyes in the teary pool of my lonely heart
Words and actions betray the beauty of your gaze
Deep arching cavalcade of emotions flow

I want to tear down the 4th wall and make love to you
In the way that knights take maidens in the movies

Words and emotions tell an epic tale of storybook longing
Carousel ride turns while loves passion burns

Suddenly..

he mechanical fiberglass unicorn stops undulating
The dime runs out and the ride is over

The childhood play horse chained in front of the discount store
sitting on the bubble gum crusted sidewalk
awaits another expectant rider

Broomsticks, buckets and tsunamis

I am the sorcerer’s apprentice

I miss looking into your sweet Irish eyes

They take me to another world

That isn’t far away

When the pond is still

Sediment sinks to the bottom

Then you can see the fish

The Tao is a road without an end
The Tao is the destination never arriving
The Tao isn’t the only way
Without exclusion
It includes all forms

When I meet someone and they tell me there is only one truth

I turn slowly toward deep unknowing and keep walking

Everyone seems to only want good things
Positive things
Sweetheart deals
Shopping bags filled with rich gifts
Second helpings served with silver spoons
More
Nicer
Newer
Faster
Bigger
Better

Good things are nice
Nice things are good

Accepting wholeness
Some parts aren’t easy
Some parts aren’t nice
Walk into fear at the beginning
Walk into fear at the end
Then there is a place for love to live
Then there is wholeness
Allowing life’s fullness to pass through
Unabated
Multi dimensions emerge and unfold
Bowing and retreating into infinite space

Families are diverse and alive with difference
Beauty and ugliness are sisters
Comfort and discomfort are married
Dark and light are brothers
Sweet and bitter are grandparents
The strongest medicine is often bitter
Without catalyst cement just doesn’t hold
Good wine is matured in cool cellars
Fine cheese is aged in humid caves
Great art comes from despair, longing and love
Beauty is everlasting
It springs from the well of all that there is

Denying the dark
Delays the inevitable
Imbalance can only result
Silently accumulating in dank corners
There are stockpiles of old bones
Lumps of coal in the bowels of old buildings
When there is a need to draw on deep reserves
Where is the light?
Where is the energy?
The freshness needed to feed and quench
It is downstairs where you left it waiting to be burned
Shovel the black rocks into the fire
While you sit on your pillow and meditate
Watch the flames dance
Watch the fire burn

Or are the reserves gone?
Consumed in a feeding frenzy
Stuffed with sweetness at the buffet of illusion
Decadent desert denial and delusion
Gluttonous and flabby bellies full of worms and fungus
Weak middle core lacking support
Back aching
Luxurious bedsores
Atrophied muscles too weak to lift limbs
Painfully stiff
Too weak to meet the day

Where is spiritual discipline now?
The nugget acquired in the moment
The one you thought was still in your silk lined pocket
It was left on the side of the road
While the party was driving by
Next to the wrappers, bottles and vines

There still is time
Now
To turn in again
And see what is already here

Refuse the limousine and walk in the dark
Into the fresh night air
Take comfort in alone-full-less-ness
Turn off the music and listen to nothing
Decline the invitation
Numb skulls
Chattering teeth
Words without meaning
Better to say nothing
Better to have the sky above as a home
Than the elegance of a soft velvet prison

Morning awakening fills the nostrils
The exquisite breath of freedom
Breathe deeply to the bottom of the lungs
Breathe it all in
Hold it for a few seconds
And then do it again
And again
Until you forget who you are
Lost between the inhale and exhale
Found only in the breathe

Warm bowl of rice in an earthen bowl
Grass mat on the monk’s dirt floor
The comfort of the soul is simple

Walk on rocks and then walk on water
Relax into the cold wind and warmth will overwhelm
Say what is left unsaid and you will be pleasantly surprised

Hoody
Rainy night

Which one is the cop?
All cars look undercover

The guy in crossing the street in front of me
The one with the new trainers on
Is he wearing a bullet proof vest?

What about the guys on the corner in black?
Are they undercover?

This plastic shopping bag I carry
Can anyone tell that it has a pound of weed in it?

My shoe lace is undone but I dare not stop
Then I’d have to set the bag down
Walk carefully
Cross the street walking in zig zags

Everyone is my enemy
Zombie junkies and shifty hollow eyes
Shifty jittery burning black holes

All of this is just a movie
On a dark downtown Vancouver night

Comforted by the glowing flashes of the electronic soother
Flashing images blend
Blur the line of consciousness
Drifting deeply
Down into a hazy realm of numb delusion

I sleep

The past is a series of spring mud puddles in the gutter

I run splashing through them with childhood rubber boots

Kicking up the dirty water of all that ever was

I am the giant megalith!

I am Godzilla!

Destroying muddy memories with massive monster feet

Holding your head on my chest
Your arm resting gently in mine

The smell of your hair relaxes my soul
Soothing fall to sleep

Taking this trip together
To the world of dreams

On our slumber sleigh bed
Flying above the clouds

White billowy cotton candy
Looks good enough to eat

On this night I ride with you

Beauty is

Truth is

Love is

There is nothing to do in any of this

Except to know that the mind creates separation

This is the great hoax

I see myself
through the eyes of strangers
and wonder why?

Your presence is a sacred blossom

Floating on an infinite pool

You are consciousness reflected

I felt something between us tonight

It was instant delayed gratification

It doesn’t feel good right now

But I think it will soon

Thank you for trusting
For opening up
You are a blossom.
I knew that you had a special flame burning inside you.
I did doubt at moments wondering if I had been mistaken
Had I gone up the wrong and lonely road?
But no road is lonely when you are in the company of intuition and magic
Connected to the bigger connection, to the whole picture of life.

I want to answer you, to tell you things
To take your hand and reassure you that you are not alone
That the “us” you are looking for is actually a “we”
Joining together there is an emergence, a merging.
Feeling alone and a misfit is actually a healthy reaction to
The collective unconsciousness of societal pressures.
What we choose to do with those feelings is what makes the difference

I could write encyclopedias on pain
The encyclopedia painanica
Best thing I can say is when you feel pain
Your best defense is too breathe really deep and let it keep passing through,
Trying to stop it just makes things hurt more and then it stays around longer
It rarely lasts forever
And like I always say
Feeling pain won’t kill you
But not feeling it will

You are stronger than you can imagine
Your heart is bigger than the pain that cuts it open
How else can you open a heart without “breaking” it open?
Roses have thorns, people have pain
And the depths of pain counter the heights of loves joys

You have the will and courage to continue to move through whatever arises
That is the truth.

You are at home where ever you are
The clothes on your back are the entire tent you need
Your body is the sacred alter
Your heart the embers in the warm hearth
I appreciate getting to this point with you here in this dialogue.
It is not often enough in life that we get to share the depths of ourselves
Freely and openly with judgments aside.

I don’t know you, but I trust you.

Cresting cobalt wall of water whips the rider
Rocketing down the pipeline
The surfer is not separate from the wave
Separation means getting pulled under and out to sea

The surfer is the wave
We are the wave
We are the breath
We are the heart
There is no separation from anything or anyone

Not really.

Know this and you are also the Dalai Lama
Know this and you are also the beggar
Know this and you are also the thief
Know this and you are also the mother
Know this and you are also the guru
Know this and you are also the stranger
Know this and you are also the baby
Know this and you are also the laborer
Know this and you are also the famous
Know this and you are also the street addicted hustler

Know this and know the precious threads of life that connect
Know this and know that it will all disappear into the moment that is no more.

This secret is no secret anymore

I was looking through my music collection deciding what to music play
But I just couldn’t bring myself to put anything on

I remember hearing that above the music conservatory in Paris it says
“Music is the space between notes”

I felt timid, overwhelmed by the possibility of sound
My body was anxious about having to make a decision
In that moment I couldn’t bring myself to listen to anything
Silence was enough

My favorite color is silver
Newly minted silver coins
shining cold hard cash

Stainless steel cabinets
Brushed aluminum appliances
All chrome accessories
Full length frameless mirrors

Expensive imported utensils
Knives hand forged from surgical grade steel
Kept sashimi sharp in a special protective case

Cleaned with special non-abrasive cleansers that never scratch the surface
Anti-bacterial soap makes sure all germs are killed on contact

I used live to be relentless
I lived life on the tip of the knife
On the edge of the razor
Far beyond the horizon
Thrusting ever forward
Stuck out on the end of the farthest point
Heading into the eye of the storm at full speed
Past the edge of oblivion
Beyond where I could ever imagine being
Feeling I could self destruct at any moment from the stress
Wondering how I could possible keep up the pace
That is where I lived my life
On the edge of breaking
For years and years and years
Until one day
The wind stopped blowing
I fell down
I was tired of running
Face down I lay on the ground
I turned over
And looked up at the trees and sky above
I got up
And learned how to walk again
Slowly
Life became less severe
More precious
Grateful I am no longer relentless
I’m still up for great adventures
Things are different now
I appreciate peace of mind
As I have never appreciated anything before

You are the muse and the music.

The reflection of the lotus is you.

Your beauty is undeniable.

How did they know how I feel about myself inside?
Was it that obvious?

The insecurities that I have acted out for so long,
There must have been a tip off somehow.
Could they have read my mind?
Was it a woman who told them?
Was it a drunken moment of despair?

This feeling of schizophrenia
The brand I wear on my sleeve

This doesn’t feel like a friendly place
I turn and there is scorn everywhere
I listen and all I hear is fury

You crossed my mind today,

So I threw a stuffed clown at you,

You fell into the big tank of water at the carnival

And all the children laughed.

I see you in the light of the stars
A remarkable constellation
Together we are intwined in the fragrant night
Sighing softly
Caressing lightly
Backs arching
Nakedness lit by the glow of the moon

I am an artist of love!
My hands smooth the subtle contours of your elegance
Carving your figure with my hands as a sculptor carves stone
Chiseling the form of your mythic body from translucent alabaster

I am hungry with lust
My appetite remains unsatisfied
Unquenchable
Except by your presence in mine
Lovers locked in passionate embrace
Straining ever further
For just one more sweet kiss!
And then a hundred more that serve as the appetizer
Before the banquet feast of more kisses
Drinking from the wine goblet more kisses
Finishing off with a dessert of yet sweeter kisses

Shifting, drawing away, attempting to preserve this moment
It comes in and goes out with each gentle fragile breath
Each sigh, more relaxing then the last
Falling deeper in your eyes
Memories linger and the smell of you remains in my senses
Through my body and in my dreams

Your lips are an irresistible waterfall of sensuality!
Just one more sweet kiss my love!
Tearing away I will finally drift back into the night
Feeling the soft warm glow of you in my soul

There are more moments….
There are more moments….
There are more moments….
There is this moment……
There is this moment……
There is this moment……
There are a few more moments……
There are a few more moments……
There are a few more moments……
There are no more moments……
There are no more moments……
There are no more moments……

Preparing yourself for what already happened
Trying to undo what already occurred
Finding yourself in the midst of a moment that is robbed of presence.
I can only tolerate so much of my mind stealing my breath.
There is plenty of room now
I just need to keep forgetting over and over
I breathe again and again and again until it feels natural, just in and out.
Until I remember that this moment feels fan-fuckin-tastic…..

Sitting across the table from you, I am intoxicated
It is the whole of us, this quite stare we share.
You have the eyes of a Panther, the face of a schoolgirl.

I fall into a looking that does not end, it penetrates me.
Subtle characteristics, unique voice, rare view, sweet visage,
I see the face of my very first love.

There is a depth in you, a dignity and a classic grace.
It is reflected in the deep still pools of your eyes.
Swim with me to the other side where our imaginations meet.
Two rivers of consciousness flow together into one cosmic sea.

It is the whole of us, this quite stare we share.
Don’t look at me; look through me, beyond this human form.
I’ll meet you in another place that is empty and share it all!
We’ll do a dance that has no form, to a music that has no sound.

When I put them on I see things in a different way.
Rainbow beauty, pink glow, magenta hues
It reminds me how wonderful it is to be alive
To be able to see so much color
I forget sometimes how lovely it is
to see and be able so see so clearly
Shadows
Outlines
Clouds
The reflections are all so inspiring

I think I will see more if I close my eyes
I think I will see more if I close my mind
to the noise
The mental chattering
The endless churning and looping
It wears me out, all this thinking,
I try not to try but it’s not easy…

How lucky I am to have these pink lenses!

I wish the whole world could see through them!!
What would happen then?
Wouldn’t it be really cool?

Silent watching eye, Cleopatra’s magic portal
A round cavern filled with a thousand dark stars.
Unending black night hangs lazily over the mantle.
I recognized it from the past, exact flashes fired unnervingly.
Lives, bodies, blood, death, human misery, filling volumes, filing tombs.
Candles lit for the shrine of the unfinished, unburied and never always already dead.
I knew that the soft feathers were a distraction, the topical anesthetic to prepare
For the bigger injection, the lethal needle, the suction tube, the vacuum of doom.
The black bird stretches its wings and envelops its prey.
What a feat! What a feast! A feathered celebration of the abyss!
The flesh is fresh and the appetite still wet from the one before.
There is no extinguisher for this icy passion, this dark flame of negative intensity.
It will remove what isn’t even there and leaves nothing that wasn’t.
So clean so tidy is this rare pool of no reflection,
It is so dark the shadows cannot even see themselves.
Imagine what would happen if one walked in who didn’t know, who couldn’t see it?
God bless him and may the lord have mercy on his soul.

Thousands of delicate spring cherry blossoms,

Bloom as a single flower! YOU!

Two bums dance under a paper moon

Silly stinky ragamuffins show that dirt is not dead
In an unending stage call of human drama

Dreary shuffling of old boots on dry earth

Postponing the present
in the hopes of an improved uncertain future

When will he arrive?
Who?
Godot
Oh Godot..
Who else did you think I was waiting for?
No one
Then we are in agreement, we are both here for the same reason.
Yes.
Then we’ll wait
Yes we will wait

I hear a message from the winged ones, from the ancestors.
On sacred ground buried beneath my feet is what remains.
The bodies of the ancestors
Above my head I hear the sound all around in the trees.
They are the choir in the cathedral spires of the great cedars.
Dark messengers, spirit travelers, guardians of the resting place
What message do you bring?
Such an intense noise, the incessant cawing
I can’t even see them
What are they trying to say?
I feel their warning it chills my core.
They carry a vision of dreams
Stories that are not forgotten
It is their mission to carry the blessings under wing and in the throat.
Sacred screech, Tarry feathers, onyx eyes shine a glimmering message
That penetrates beyond time and space
In a flash all the memories and wisdom spread across a ray of light
I see it, I feel it, there are no words, just pure understanding.
This is their space and I am a visitor, this time I am the outsider.
I feel a deep respect for this place of rest.
Home of the ancestors
Guarded by the Ravens

Thank you for letting me care about you
It helps me care about myself when I do

Once I get past the pain
I’ll be able to be more help to you

If I ever do get past it
I’ll be sure to let you know…

Just forget everything I said!
Forget about me
I don’t exist anymore
I am a war hero in an unmarked forgotten grave
Buy a crimson poppy next year
From an old man in the street
Who wears a moth eaten uniform
Tell him how you really feel
About death

I love the witch
I love the way she hurts me, so deeply inside.
I deserve the pain she gives; I hurt myself more because she told me to.
I am not worthy of her love my love or anyone else’s.
Her massive breasts and huge growling mouth are to be feared.
The insults she hurls, it shows how much she loves me.
She strips me bare and rocks my bones,
Tears at my flesh and dines on my heart and soul.
Shrieks and howls, blood curdling fright, terrorist of love.
I’d do anything for her, I am her eternal slave.

She can love me, but I cannot love myself.
I am not able, not allowed, she took that ability away from me long ago.
I am wounded and breathing shallow, hiding in the shadows
Unable to integrate with my own shadow I take refuge in the darkness.
Hiding under the apron of the great witch I smell the gas from her ass.
Unable to grow whole with my goodness and wildness I remain a fertile yolk
An egg unable to hatch, a wingless bird, a prehistoric sea creature stuck on land.
I am a strange ancestral nomad that is not boy, not a man but a grim despondent subset.

What do I need to do to steal my power back?
No court of law could uphold her position? Could they?
I could sneak up on her and bludgeon her and take it and run long and far.
Would I get caught? Would I be punished? Would I have to give it back?
I would love to run my long sharp steel sword through that bitch and twist the handle.
Watching her bleed, the life draining from her eyes, eyes that love to hate.

What if I just ask her for it?
What is the worst thing she could say? No….
How do I ask for it?
Am I polite? Do I act in a respectful manner with great dignity?
Do I just say it in a matter of fact tone that says it is obviously mine?
And if I fail the first time, do I get a second chance?
Maybe she is tired of carrying it?

I will simply ask her for it.
She will have to give it back; it’s not hers to keep.
This witch is mine, this darkness that balances the light.
This suitor
This lover
This shadow of mine

I am SPACE

I am openness

I am an impulse of light

Connected to all of the other stars

I can’t afford the cost of denial
It’s just way too expensive
The interest rate is too much to pay.
It isn’t worth it anymore.

I tried to get away with it for a long time,
But how is stealing from myself achieving anything?

Giving away my integrity for a mere pittance,
What was I thinking?
The only person I was ripping off was me.
Well, that’s not true
I ripped off everybody
Selling myself short means I was affecting everyone
Since we’re all in this together
As one.

The Illusion of the I
Separate from the source
The universe slapped me in the face
and I gotta clue

My hapless tender little arrogance
Hindered a world of possibility and prosperity

We are in this life together
working together

I say this as the I
That is speaking to it’s own listening

To the I’s that are witnessing
The greater I of all that there is.

And when I say that I am here to pay whatever needs to be paid
I mean it.
Everything is all out on the table now
Paid up front with presence, awareness and truth
Backed by the Universal Credit Corporation of Unified Consciousness
Safer than gold bullion and much lighter to carry.

In the center of the storm
The middle of the hurricane
a dynamic energetic field of light explodes

Jumping past the swirling torrent
of mental chaos through the keyhole
to I am

Swimming with the swans of inner beauty
deciding not to turn back

This place where we meet old friends
has always been here

Wisdom we never knew is available
here
now

Looking out from the core
with infinite gratitude
What a glorious view!

Sitting alone in my room,
I like my room, I feel safe here.
Sometimes I just want to hide.

Things feel so difficult.
Why can’t things be easier?
Why am I so sad?

What is this empty feeling I have?
And why does the only answer to my pain
Come from someone I used to know?

I feel trapped.
Alone, scared
What did I do wrong?
What’s wrong with me?
How can I fix things?
How can I fix myself?

Everyone wants something from me.
I feel torn inside.
I wish I could figure things out.

If only things were different.
But there not, so what’s the point?

I had an incite that some psychological disorders
are describable as a simple design

They are a result of anxiously running around
the periphery of your self

Trying desperately to get inside of your self
creates the separation and craziness

Not seeing that there are many doors to the core of you
That are available, many more than you know

Doors that you can just open up and go through
to the deeper you

Anxiousness is the distortion in the field
you merely have to plunge inside of your self
Awareness gives you a choice to go deeper into you
It is the key to healing