I can offer you nothing
to soothe your wounded heart

In death
there is nothing to get
nothing to give
or forgive
it isn’t about you
or even about them
or us
it’s about

no one

no one being home anymore
no one to send an email
or pick up the phone
silence on the other side

they are gone
forever transformed
into eternity
this is the way
in death

So please don’t be upset
that I can offer you nothing

other than what is left
the mourning
the grief
the time
for remembering
and forgetting

There are no religious fairy tales
that can offer an answer
they are all used up
and aren’t true

what has happened
is permanent
and in this
there is
no hope

but there is a feeling
that can be shared and felt
all the way to the bones
a subtle letting go

and perhaps a deeper
appreciation for what still is
this aliveness, that is here
the aliveness, that they were
and the aliveness, that they are not

they are now just a feeling
a fading memory
drifting farther away
with each passing day
becoming the dirt
becoming the grass
becoming the air
becoming another transformative breath
of life

ahhh… this sweet breath of life…

How’s this life of yours?

It doesn’t feel like mine..

But I’m here..

holding up the bones and experiencing breath and emotions..

How’s “your” life?

“This” life is exciting and full of possibilities!

There is a dark corner where illusion ends
And the web of sticky withholding begins

It starts with a story and ends with a knife in the back or stomach
Either way your handy friend, becomes a hunter from a victim

Foolish cowardice disguised as loyalty
Honor and vengeance are brothers
Doomed to die on the battlefield of regret

The road is long
Worn boots give way to bloody feet
Siberia waits with open arms
Allowing all to enter but none to leave
Kolyma will eat your flesh and bury your bones
In the bog of labor camp 682
The excitement to tell will eat the gut
A worm in the belly that will not leave

This secret is too much to bear
The poison of which robs me of my very breath
Of this precious life I carry

Where can I hide this woeful lament this obligation of doom?
Perhaps it is a dream and it will fly away to the moonlit silent night
Leaving my heart to thaw by this spring morning dew

I have a new valentine this year

It is the One
It is right now
This breath
This life
This existence
Right here…
this…
All of this…
Oneness

Love of the One that never fails
as it is always the One
It is the love without time
without limit

Nobody and nothing can take it away as it is not separate
So there is nothing to do to give or receive
It is already always happening

Dissolving in an instant giving over to complete intimacy
Folding into this moment continuously as it is
All contexts of love are contained in the One
Self love, unconditional love, divine love are all illusive patterns
Fables of the mind, dressed up with noble intention
Human imagination does what it does
sometimes that means creating dreams of painful separation

Shifting is simple and yet a choice that’s rarely ever made
Relaxing the focus on external validation
Surrendering to this moment completely
Engaged awareness
Energy transmission
Complete connection
Being oneness with the One

There is nothing to do to complete the circuit with the One
There is nothing separate from the One
Only perfect oneness with the One

I am in love with the One
Which is the same thing as loving Me

Cresting cobalt wall of water whips the rider
Rocketing down the pipeline
The surfer is not separate from the wave
Separation means getting pulled under and out to sea

The surfer is the wave
We are the wave
We are the breath
We are the heart
There is no separation from anything or anyone

Not really.

Know this and you are also the Dalai Lama
Know this and you are also the beggar
Know this and you are also the thief
Know this and you are also the mother
Know this and you are also the guru
Know this and you are also the stranger
Know this and you are also the baby
Know this and you are also the laborer
Know this and you are also the famous
Know this and you are also the street addicted hustler

Know this and know the precious threads of life that connect
Know this and know that it will all disappear into the moment that is no more.

This secret is no secret anymore

I see you in the light of the stars
A remarkable constellation
Together we are intwined in the fragrant night
Sighing softly
Caressing lightly
Backs arching
Nakedness lit by the glow of the moon

I am an artist of love!
My hands smooth the subtle contours of your elegance
Carving your figure with my hands as a sculptor carves stone
Chiseling the form of your mythic body from translucent alabaster

I am hungry with lust
My appetite remains unsatisfied
Unquenchable
Except by your presence in mine
Lovers locked in passionate embrace
Straining ever further
For just one more sweet kiss!
And then a hundred more that serve as the appetizer
Before the banquet feast of more kisses
Drinking from the wine goblet more kisses
Finishing off with a dessert of yet sweeter kisses

Shifting, drawing away, attempting to preserve this moment
It comes in and goes out with each gentle fragile breath
Each sigh, more relaxing then the last
Falling deeper in your eyes
Memories linger and the smell of you remains in my senses
Through my body and in my dreams

Your lips are an irresistible waterfall of sensuality!
Just one more sweet kiss my love!
Tearing away I will finally drift back into the night
Feeling the soft warm glow of you in my soul

There are more moments….
There are more moments….
There are more moments….
There is this moment……
There is this moment……
There is this moment……
There are a few more moments……
There are a few more moments……
There are a few more moments……
There are no more moments……
There are no more moments……
There are no more moments……

Preparing yourself for what already happened
Trying to undo what already occurred
Finding yourself in the midst of a moment that is robbed of presence.
I can only tolerate so much of my mind stealing my breath.
There is plenty of room now
I just need to keep forgetting over and over
I breathe again and again and again until it feels natural, just in and out.
Until I remember that this moment feels fan-fuckin-tastic…..

Where possibility and breath begin, suffering ends.