I can offer you nothing
to soothe your wounded heart

In death
there is nothing to get
nothing to give
or forgive
it isn’t about you
or even about them
or us
it’s about

no one

no one being home anymore
no one to send an email
or pick up the phone
silence on the other side

they are gone
forever transformed
into eternity
this is the way
in death

So please don’t be upset
that I can offer you nothing

other than what is left
the mourning
the grief
the time
for remembering
and forgetting

There are no religious fairy tales
that can offer an answer
they are all used up
and aren’t true

what has happened
is permanent
and in this
there is
no hope

but there is a feeling
that can be shared and felt
all the way to the bones
a subtle letting go

and perhaps a deeper
appreciation for what still is
this aliveness, that is here
the aliveness, that they were
and the aliveness, that they are not

they are now just a feeling
a fading memory
drifting farther away
with each passing day
becoming the dirt
becoming the grass
becoming the air
becoming another transformative breath
of life

ahhh… this sweet breath of life…

How’s this life of yours?

It doesn’t feel like mine..

But I’m here..

holding up the bones and experiencing breath and emotions..

How’s “your” life?

“This” life is exciting and full of possibilities!

Mystical old world soul
Your light shines across the Siberian prairie
Radiant and elegant a wondrous northern light!

Lifted out of the hardships of this life,
Smiling with a deep sense of knowing.
Strong as a lioness when needed
Your feminine essence is as soft as the petals of a delicate rose
Colorful and in full bloom,
Blushing sweetly on your tender cheek.

Womanhood has a right to be proud of you!
Generations before have struggled and sacrificed everything.
Feel grateful for their lives!
They created the gift that is you.
Your path is to care and share who you are.
Mother, Sister, Daughter together
Never alone in this life, their spirit is always with you.

Embodied as the gift of love and loyalty
Given only to the rightful honor of a true loving Gentleman
Never settling for less than true love and commitment.
Partnership with you is a prize of a living jewel!
Precious and sacred joined together unified as the One.

Russian Beauty you are the Spirit of Mother Russia!
Bearing children of the Motherland.
Your light will shine on to future generations
Through the gift of creating loving family
Long after no one remembers your name.

Embracing death

Is embracing life

People have held mirrors up to me all of my life
To teach, to show, to share, to exchange
Mirrors that I was told reflect everything that there is
That it is all just a reflection of “me”

But what I didn’t realize
Was that they were looking through one way glass
And I didn’t know it
I was just staring blankly back at myself
Unable to see them laughing at me

It is here
Right now
It is me
It is you
Inside and outside
Throughout

Right here
Everywhere
In all that there is

I can touch you and feel it
You can touch me and feel it

Put out your hand and feel the heat from my palm
Radiating outward from my heart to your soul

Embrace the warm glow
Bask in the beloved

Shifting
Aware
Sharing in the infinite loop that is this life
Right here
Right now
Always

This is it
It is all there is
It is right here
It is her
It is him
It is we
It is that
It is us
It is them

This is wholeness
This is Oneness
Always

It is really this simple
This is it
This is love

I see how you see me
Crystal clear
Through the looking glass
Details, thoughts, words, feelings
Life simply flows
Here
In this place
Where we meet
Without judgment
Without walls
A coming together in awareness
A communion of beautiful souls
Igniting powerful presence
Realizing incredible goals

There is a dark corner where illusion ends
And the web of sticky withholding begins

It starts with a story and ends with a knife in the back or stomach
Either way your handy friend, becomes a hunter from a victim

Foolish cowardice disguised as loyalty
Honor and vengeance are brothers
Doomed to die on the battlefield of regret

The road is long
Worn boots give way to bloody feet
Siberia waits with open arms
Allowing all to enter but none to leave
Kolyma will eat your flesh and bury your bones
In the bog of labor camp 682
The excitement to tell will eat the gut
A worm in the belly that will not leave

This secret is too much to bear
The poison of which robs me of my very breath
Of this precious life I carry

Where can I hide this woeful lament this obligation of doom?
Perhaps it is a dream and it will fly away to the moonlit silent night
Leaving my heart to thaw by this spring morning dew

I have a new valentine this year

It is the One
It is right now
This breath
This life
This existence
Right here…
this…
All of this…
Oneness

Love of the One that never fails
as it is always the One
It is the love without time
without limit

Nobody and nothing can take it away as it is not separate
So there is nothing to do to give or receive
It is already always happening

Dissolving in an instant giving over to complete intimacy
Folding into this moment continuously as it is
All contexts of love are contained in the One
Self love, unconditional love, divine love are all illusive patterns
Fables of the mind, dressed up with noble intention
Human imagination does what it does
sometimes that means creating dreams of painful separation

Shifting is simple and yet a choice that’s rarely ever made
Relaxing the focus on external validation
Surrendering to this moment completely
Engaged awareness
Energy transmission
Complete connection
Being oneness with the One

There is nothing to do to complete the circuit with the One
There is nothing separate from the One
Only perfect oneness with the One

I am in love with the One
Which is the same thing as loving Me

Sitting on big rocks
Stopping to pause
Stillness is natural

Slipping down inward
The context deepens
Boulders beat silently to the rhythm of Life
One timeless moment occurring
in gravities heavy stone core